busy times

I should be in bed now, but I can't seem to relax, let alone sleep. Too much on my mind, some good, some not. I'm thinking about the new house, and all that we have to do yet; packing, cleaning, painting, filling out change of address forms, getting utilities set up. This is truly a time of "blessings and confusion" (to quote my blog title) for us! So blessed to have gotten the beautiful new home and enough money to pay for the security deposit and bills, but such confusion as we attempt to pack up our life and move it 20 miles away. As much as I've longed to leave Warren, it will be very strange for me, I've lived here all my life. And even just to leave this apartment we live in now will be a little sad too, because this is where we've lived for all our married life. This is the place we came home to after the wedding, this is where we brought Erin to after she was born. We've had a lot of happy times here, but now it is time to move on. Wednesday was Ed's and my third anniversary. How time flies!! My parents offered to watch the girls so we actually got to go out this year and we had a really nice time. I love him so much, and I thank God every day for bringing us together. We lift each other up, and we're best friends. We comfort each other, we laugh together, and we've never gone to bed mad at each other. This week was also a little difficult for me because this is the week the baby would have been born. I've tried not to think about it too much, but this morning it hit me hard. Ed just held me and didn't say a word. He knew I just needed a good cry. I'm so happy right now, I don't want to dwell on the bad things, but it hurts so much to think that the baby should be here now and isn't and never will be. It makes me feel so empty inside.

Hope renewed

We got the house. We move in at the end of the month. I am just totally ecstatic about it, all of us are. I feel ashamed though for ever doubting that prayer works, and I think Ed is just stunned. I know that a lot of people were praying for us. The timing of this is just amazing. I've always said that I didn't mind the girls going to elementary school in Warren because they're not so bad, but that I wanted them out before they had to go to middle school. TJ would have started at Reserve in the fall. And the funny thing is, we weren't even looking for a house. We'd sort of resigned ourselves to the fact that we'd be where we are for at least a couple more years, because we knew we wouldn't be able to buy a house until I am done with school and working so that we have more income (and a down payment) and we didn't think we could afford to rent anything nicer than what we have. So we weren't even looking to move, we didn't think it was time yet, but once again we are being reminded that things come in God's time, not ours, and that He always provides for us. He knew that TJ would probably have a hard time at Reserve and so He allowed this to happen. I am just so incredibly thankful. I'm thankful to God for providing all that we need and more, I'm thankful to Jeff and Karen for telling us about this house and getting things rolling with the landlord, and I'm thankful to all the people who prayed for us. I'll probably never even know who all did, but I am just incredibly grateful to have such a wonderful church family. I can't believe I ever considered leaving. Ed and I were finally able to go to Sunday School this week, and it was such a wonderful feeling. I've really missed it. I've really missed church; it's good to be "back."