Home, sweet (cozy lovely) home

My girls are "camping out" tonight-- in the backyard, that is. It is SO nice to live in a neighborhood where such things are possible! Something so simple that lots of kids do, but back in Warren, in that apartment, there would have been no way. I am so thankful that God opened up the doors to this house for us. Every time I step out onto my front porch, push Erin on the swings out in our yard, sit outside at night and actually hear silence, I just feel like I'm dreaming. Is this really where I live?! It can't be... It's such an adorable house! A little small, but I think it's cozy, and there's plenty of room for us. The yard is huge and there's just so much beauty everywhere; bushes right outside TJ and Karry's bedroom window that get gorgeous pink flowers in the spring, and lilac bushes in the back, and a cute little shady corner with a white picket fence that's perfect for sitting with a book and watching the girls play. And the girls have had such a wonderful summer here, riding bikes, running around in the yard, making new friends. We were able to get them a swingset and a kiddie pool, which we were never able to do at the apartment either. Being so close to church is really a blessing too. I'll be able to go to Dare to Care and take the girls to Discovery Club this fall without having to worry about using too much gas, or being so constrained for time, since it's now a 5 minute drive instead of 20. We are right down the road from Jeff and Karen too, who are probably our closest friends. I am just so happy here! And I feel so blessed. So many of my dearest prayers have been answered. I feel like I don't deserve any of this. Why is God so good to me? But I guess no one deserves the good things God gives them. We all sin and fall short. I'm glad that I love and serve such a kind and loving God. I am more determined than ever to be obedient to Him, and to keep reading His word every day so that my faith will grow even stronger.

Why must people change?

Heidi is visiting right now. But instead of staying with us, or with our parents, she is staying at a hotel in Niles. She got in a huge fight with our parents last night, then with me today. She's seemed really unstable emotionally, and I'm worried about her--and about Kegan. The visit I looked forward to all summer has been just a disaster. Her and I have always been so close, more like friends than sisters, but she is so different now, so obsessed with money and things, annoyed that our houses arent' as nice as where she lives now, we can't afford to go out to eat all the time and shopping. Ever since she got here she's acted like she's too good for us, not wanting Kegan to play with the girls and scrutinizing our homes and everything. I never thought that living out there in California with Ryan and his money would change her, but it most certainly has. And it just baffles me really, how people who were raised together, exactly the same way, could turn out so very different. And it hurts to think that she feels we're below her. It really hurts to feel that I've lost a friend. But on a happier note, VBS is going on this week, and I have had such a wonderful time (I think the kids have too, haha). I love being a guide and actually getting to spend time with the kids, helping them, talking to them. The group we have this year is definitely a handful, 18 kids, a couple of whom are pretty hyper, but they're all just so special and funny and wonderful. It's kinda neat too, despite how stressful and busy this summer has been, how much I have learned to lean on Jesus. I haven't let myself get all bummed and depressed like I did before because I just pray so much and really have gotten into reading the Bible every day. I pray for strength, patience, uplifting and wisdom, and I pray giving thanks, no matter what. I've learned to play the "glad" game always. It's a silly little childish thing from the Pollyanna movie, but it really is a wonderful thing to find something to be glad about no matter what happens. And every time this summer that I felt I was in over my head trying to organize this new home of ours and take care of the kids and Ed and do my baseball job and help my parents and still make time for friends and church family, I would just remind myself of the things I have to be glad about--otherwise known as counting blessings! I would thank God for giving me such a loving husband and precious little girls, family and friends who care about us, and this beautiful new home. My faith is getting much stronger. I no longer feel like I'm drowning, or even treading water--I've learned to swim. And one day I'll be walking. I just need to keep drawing closer and closer to Him and trust Him--which is getting easier since I'm finally starting to realize that people will let me down but God never will.