I love my mother in law!! I hate to even call her mother in law, but I haven't quite gotten used to calling her "Mom" yet, and Lynda seems disrespectful. But she's great, and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. Yesterday I was feeling kinda bummed at church again. First, Pastor Jim told me they had such a great time at OCEA and I got the feeling he was kinda implying that I should have been there. Then I found out that Sandy wasn't at church again and Danny was getting annoyed about having to do her class. Then Ginger complained to me about how much the VBS starter kit cost. By the time Sunday school --or "Bible Fellowship" hour--was over, I was seriously about to start pulling my hair out, strand by strand. I went up and sat in our pew, and my mom in law, who has enough to worry about without an in-over-her-head daughter in law, looked me right in the eyes and said "I'm proud of you and I love you." Then, of course, she gave me a big hug. Those few little words just lifted me up so much. Suddenly all the stresses of the morning were gone, I felt loved, and I could truly focus on worshipping and praising God (I mean, after all, isn't that what we go to church for anyway?!).
Meanwhile, my family needs prayer, SERIOUS prayer. I don't even know if God answers prayers about people who aren't saved. Pastor Jim is always saying that with every promise there's a premise, meaning that we can't rely on God's promises if we aren't obedient to Him. Well does that mean my obedience, or the obedience of the people I'm praying for? I don't know. All I know is that my dad is seriously depressed and still not out of the woods physically (his doctor has told him that he should apply for Social Security because he probably won't be able to work) and my sister is trapped in a very abusive relationship, 3000 miles away from the people who care about her, with no way to leave. My mom desperately needs to see a doctor about her teeth and her foot, before she ends up in the same boat as my dad, but she won't because she's so worried about medical bills. I'm worried about Kelly's weight--she's 189 lbs. and only 13, and I'm afraid I've been a bad influence on her because she's always looked up to me and I'm overweight. I'm worried about Kim's "slacker-ness," she's hiding out in California doing nothing while her college loan bills have begun rolling in, and she seems to have no definite plans to get a job or go to grad school or ANYTHING. And of course, above all, I worry about their salvation. I've become much closer to God lately, praying more, doing my devotions and Bible reading, and it's brought me so much peace and joy. Sure, I still get upset and stressed, I still freak out and do the "Ame" thing as Ed says, but I no longer despair, I no longer feel depressed. I feel free and full of hope, a wonderful feeling that I want my parents and sisters to have too.
I'm so thankful that my "other" family, Ed's family, are all Christians. I pray for Leah and Marguerite every day, praying that God will heal Leah and give Marguerite comfort and peace. I don't want either of them to die, but there is comfort in knowing that when the time does come they will be with Jesus.
